


What Do You Want Me To Do

by Barry_Manilows_Wardrobe



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Death, M/M, TheFirstPartIsExplicitAndThenTheEndGotRealSerious, no magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-11 19:22:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11720871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Barry_Manilows_Wardrobe/pseuds/Barry_Manilows_Wardrobe
Summary: San Francisco 1978: A normal night on the Castro for Sirius and James turns into something completely unexpected.





	What Do You Want Me To Do

**Author's Note:**

> and thanks to your love the tight aroma that arose  
> from the earth lives dimly in my body
> 
> \- Pablo Neruda, One Hundred Love Sonnets XVII
> 
>  
> 
> This is very explicit, FYI. Really, really explicit.

The first time he saw Romulus was at _Priapus_ in the Castro.

The lighting was dim and hopeless and a tangle of bodies walked the halls and lounged in the tub looking for an at-the-moment.  But Romulus was different.  A beautiful beacon in a sea of towels and men.  He was also completely naked without the faintest sense of self-consciousness.  

This being the case, the first thing Orion - as he was calling himself that evening - noticed was his cock.  Thick and uncut, about the length of his palm: fingertip to wrist.  His pubic hair was a dark blond that pressed his cock forward to jut proudly before him.  When Romulus walked down the hallway, eyes followed, heads turned.  He was tall, broad-shouldered, and muscular.

And Orion desperately wanted to fuck him.

Orion did alright for himself.  He was slender and lean hipped, barely coming to Romulus’ shoulders.  But his black hair had been much carded through with desperate, pulling fingers and he often left _Priapus_ wet and loose, after five or six encounters.  He had a thing for the smell of semen and liked to carry it home.  His roommate James - who was using the moniker Pevensie - never commented on it.  But he was down in the saunas chatting up a chubby brunet he’d been eyeing since they’d come through the door.  

They’d been to Priapus a few times.  But he had never seen Romulus before.

He’d already run through his first paces.  Thick fingers had been followed by a long, thin cock.  He was wet with lube and semen and two men had already stopped to finger him in the hall, Orion lifting his leg to give them ingress, testing the ridge of his hole.  Orion had an incredible sex drive - something Pevensie, who he’d never slept with - complained about when he had anyone over.  He could go all night accompanied by the pounding of Pev’s palms on the wall between their bedrooms.

Orion was turned to the wall, one knee against it as the third man of the night thumbed his hole. And then he was gone.  Replaced a moment later by someone warm and clean smelling, whose palm slipped between his buttocks and fluttered against him.  “You should have waited for me.  I’m going to fuck you all night,” the voice said.  Almost no one talked.  The wrong voice to a body could ruin everything.  But this voice was liquid sex.  And Orion _knew_ it was Romulus.  He wanted Romulus to take him right there, against the wall and in view of everyone else.  But Romulus ran a hand through his long black hair and tugged him along that way.  Pleasure and pain.  Orion was hard as fuck.

Romulus had rented a room.  Or taken one.  It was small, but there was a bed that probably had clean sheets.  With his head still pulled backwards, he could feel Romulus’ teeth scrape against his throat before he released Orion and locked the door.  “Get on your hands and knees,” Romulus said.  Orion would have done anything Romulus asked and fell to the floor as if all his strings had been cut.  Romulus laughed.  “You can use the bed, you’ll skin your knees on the floor.”  He helped Orion up, a strong hand on his right ass cheek, before leaning over him to lick it.  There was a mirror behind Romulus and Orion could see everything.

They spoke physically then.  Romulus spread him wide, running a thumb from the base of his hole to his perineum.  He  _tsked_ and then brought his mouth down to the orifice.  His tongue was warm and wet, running along the seam cleaning the lube and semen that had gotten there before he had.  It took everything Orion had to not quiver.  And this was only the beginning.

When his tongue breached him, he did so gently, savoring the taste and mapping the shape of Orion.  He had yet to touch Orion’s cock, which was weeping copiously although he’d come not a half hour ago, and if he continued Orion knew he would come again.  He desperately wanted to rut against his hand.  More particularly Romulus’ hand.  But his own would do.  

Romulus laved him for ages, tracing and opening the loved pucker.  Eventually, oh God, eventually, he circled him with his thumb.  His fingernails had been cut lower than the finger.  So as not to hurt or catch - no matter where they ended up.  He fucked Orion with that thumb, while his fingers fluttered against his balls.  Orion breathed hard then, a hot _Ohhhh_ following in the low-lit room.  “Do you want my cock?”  Romulus asked while his thumb continued it’s in and out, expanding and contracting in time.  

“Yes.”  Orion’s own voice was thick and choked with need.  He wanted it so much.

“Get on your back,” Romulus said, extracting - _no no_ \- his thumb and helping Orion roll over.  He ran a hand over Orion’s thighs.  “You have the most beautiful eyes,” he said and Orion _felt_ beautiful with Romulus saying it.  Everywhere Romulus touched burned.  Romulus did not fuck him then.  Instead he grasped Orion’s cock in his warm hands and tugged.  “I’ve heard you can go all night,” Romulus said.  “That I could fuck you five or six times and you’re always tight.  Always ready.”

Orion was surprised that Romulus knew - had presumably asked - about him.  “Sometimes,” he managed, looking at the blond who had him in the palm of his hand.

“I want you _all night_.  I’m going to ride you until you can’t walk.  Until you can’t remember any cock but mine.”

Orion wanted nothing else.  Romulus’ eyes - which were probably green - were intense and hooded with arousal.  “ _Please_ …”

Romulus’ mouth, which was heat incarnate, swallowed him then.  He did something with his tongue that made every hair on Orion’s body stand on end.  Slit to root he tongued and squeezed and Orion was coming.  His body shuddering with the quickness of it, the intensity.  Romulus let Orion push and foam against his throat.  On a swallow, he gave Orion a moment.  And then his finger was in him.  One, two.  Seeking and finding his prostate and pressing.  It was almost - but not quite - too much.  Orion made inarticulate sounds as his body jerked in time.  And then Orion lifted his legs, longer and more delicate than his torso, around his own hips and slowly, slowly pushed into him.  He was enormous and had to be used to complaints and rejections.  But he was slow, but ceaseless, dripping with lube as he slowly worked his way into Orion.  He was keening as Romulus’ push burned and _ached_.  “Are you alright?”  Romulus asked, his voice was soft and slightly concerned.  “Is it too much?”

“No, no, no, no…” Orion said.  He wanted Romulus _inside him_ , deep in him.  

Romulus pulled out to Orion’s, “Please come back,” and Romulus laughed.  “Turn over, love.  I don’t want to break you.”

Orion flipped over and Romulus spread his legs, putting a pillow under his hips.  It was so thoughtful, so unusual.  Almost every encounter was a quick fuck, balls to ass, a corner handjob.  Romulus fingered more lube into Orion and then he made his inexorable crawl into him.  When he bottomed - what felt like hours later, but was only minutes - Romulus tensed.  Orion could feel it through the membrane of his ass.  “I’m so sorry, but I can’t…” And then Romulus was fucking him in earnest.  Muscled thighs working as he took him, claimed him, snapping his hips to fill him again and again and again.  Orion was hard again, rubbing his cock against the cotton sheets beneath him.  He groaned into the pillow, pushing back, and then Romulus was coming.  Hot spurts of semen deep into Orion.  He continued to pump through his orgasm until he finally went still.  

It was the most brilliant fuck Orion had ever had in his life.

Romulus very carefully pulled out.  And after a moment, he pulled Orion’ hips up and cleaned him again with his tongue.  This time more carefully against the puffy rim of his ass.  Orion had never had an at-the-moment do something like that moments after coming before.  They usually took a moment in silence and then walked out.  Romulus cleaned him with a thoroughness that was almost… loving?  But Orion wasn’t sure that was the word.

The relentless pressure - albeit delicate this time - on his hole didn’t allow his rising want a chance to rest.  When Romulus seemed satisfied with his work, Orion pushed him on his back and masturbated himself until he had striped Romulus’ chest with milky white streamers of come.  Romulus smiled indulgently at him, before taking some on his finger and putting it in his mouth.  

“Who _are_ you?”  Orion asked, his voice awed.  And somewhat petulant.  He wanted to know everything about Romulus.  He wanted to take him home and have Pevensie throw his bed against the wall to stop them from fucking.

“ _Tsk tsk_.  You know there are no names here.”  Romulus tweaked one of his nipples with a careless forefinger.  

“But I want you.”

“I promised you as many fuckings as you need to remember me.  To remember _Romulus_.  I never renege on my word.  But,” and Romulus stood.  “I think we should get you in the sauna for a while.  I’m not exactly… small… and I have plans.”

Romulus locked the door behind them, it was his after all, and kept Orion alongside him with a hand on his waist.  It was packed and they stopped and started as they tried to get to the basement, Orion arching into more than one probing finger.  He wanted to be fucked again already.  Romulus slapped them all away.  “If you keep doing that my darling whore,” Romulus said into his ear, “I will throw you to the dogs.”

But he obliged Orion, holding him against the wall and fucking him deep and furious.  Orion was clawing at the wood panelling, his drool smearing the wall.  Romulus was glorious and Orion knew they had an audience of other visitors.  It heightened it and made Orion’s orgasm sharper.  “Are you satisfied?”  Romulus asked, his voice teasing.  He was referring to their show specifically and Orion had the overwhelming urge to kiss him.  This was _not done_ .  Romulus seemed to see it in him and gave Orion a hard look.  He hoped he’d not lost him.  But then Romulus put his hand on Orion’s ass.  A very firm _mine_.

Pevensie, who either had or not had his brunet, was sitting on the edge of the spa.  He was drinking water, probably a good idea, and his eyes jumped out of his head when he saw Orion with Romulus.  Orion was completely debauched, semen running down his legs, and his hair had been thorough fingered.  Orion pointed to him.  “That’s my-- that’s Pevensie.  I won’t let him touch me.  We’re not...like that.”

“How was the brunet?”  Orion asked.

“Good lord, fortune smiles on you,” Pevensie said, letting his eyes roam the entirety of Romulus.  Who only had eyes for Orion.  Romulus smiled an aloof greeting and then helped Orion into the bath.  

“I’m going to get you some water,” Romulus said, crouching down by the pool.  Though flaccid, his cock was still impressive.  And glistened from Orion.  Which pleased Orion.  “You can look.  But don’t touch.”

“When’s the wedding?”  Pevensie asked, his eyes trailing after Romulus.

“Oh my god,” Orion said.  “He won’t tell me his name.”

“Really?  By the way he’s looking at you I would have thought he’d get you out of this wolves’ den.”  Pevensie, who had done football in school, was in fairly good shape.  Burly and taller than Orion.  “Or you, him.  He’s gorgeous.  Do you think he’d do three-way?”

Orion gave Pevensie a very dirty look.  “No sharing.  The last thing I need to see is your dirty cock when I’m trying to get off.”  But he couldn’t resist boasting.  “He rimmed me twice.   _After_.”

Pevensie shuddered.  “Oh God, another come slut like you.”

Romulus was back then, handing Orion a glass of water.  He had another for himself.  He was insanely good looking.  The lighting was slightly better down here - so no one drowned unseen - and Romulus was almost perfect.  His skin was flawless, he was probably in his early 20s like Orion.  And his eyes were green.  A beautiful color that set off his tawny brows and tangle of blond hair.  He caught Orion looking and smiled at him.  He’d known the man for all of an hour or two and Orion felt… he felt like he was falling in love.  

Romulus didn’t say much.  But his leg was against Orion’s arm and his left hand on the back of his neck.  He leaned forward.  “I want to be in you,” his words were soft, but Orion heard them.  Romulus stared a moment longer than necessary into Orion’s eyes.  And Orion knew he couldn’t be the only one feeling this.  

When they were back in the rented room - a production in and of itself - Romulus made love to him as if they had been lovers forever.  He bit and licked and traced every part of Orion’s body.  Studying the fine hair of his forearms and legs, the divots above his arse, and even nosed his armpits and breathed in Orion’s scent.  He found Orion’s tattoo - the outline of a dog in stars - and smiled against it.  Orion could feel it against his skin.  “ _Sirius,_ ” Romulus said and every muscle in Orion’s body stiffened.  “What’s wrong?”  

“No-nothing.”

Romulus studied him a moment, but seemed to believe him.  “ _Sirius rises late in the dark, liquid sky / On summer nights, star of stars,/ Orion's Dog they call it, brightest_ ,” Romulus said - first in Latin and then in English - with a finger down Orion’s nose that sank to trace his mouth.  “ _Te vellum_.”  Romulus’ finger moved along his lips, weaving some sort of a spell on him.  He swiped at Romulus’ finger with his tongue and Romulus moved it.  Orion thought he may have made a mistake.  He spoke French, enough that he knew Romulus had probably said that he wanted him.  And not in a sexual way.  

“I’m s--” But Romulus drew Orion up and swallowed his words with his mouth.  He kissed like he fucked, gentle at first and then furiously.  Orion opened to him, kissing like he was being fucked, taking Romulus’ tongue and teeth, gasping.  When he thought he would die from breathlessness, Romulus broke the kiss.  There was a focus about him that was arousing and electric.  He opened Orion, fingered him with lube until he was wet and gaping and then he fucked him.  This was a desperate, possessive taking.  Orion felt like Romulus was asking to be consumed by him, bruising hands on hips as he rocked against him, grunting and exhaling hotly against his torso.  

When he came - spectacularly - he cried out _Sirius_.  Orion - Sirius - tensed beneath him, but took him in his arms afterward.  Romulus was heavy, but was not unbearable.  He didn’t want to be held though, and slithered down Sirius to furiously move against his rim with his tongue.  Sirius started to boil from the intensity behind it.  And then Romulus had his fingers on his prostate.  A relentless assault that had Sirius seeing, quite literally, stars.  He came so hard, he would have jerked off the bed if Romulus didn’t have him.  He also wasn’t sure he would ever feel his legs again.  

Romulus laid down on the bed next to him and they breathed.  There was no synchronicity, but it was a rhythm of their own making.  When he had collected his thoughts sufficiently, Sirius asked, “Who are you?”  It wasn’t awe this time, it was curiosity and determination.  He turned to face Romulus, who was staring up at the ceiling.  

“I thought I knew,” Romulus said, finally.  “When I came here tonight, I was absolutely certain that I was coming here to fuck as many men as possible.  To be myself for a moment.”  Sirius understood that feeling.  He had so many facades himself that sometimes he couldn’t keep them all straight.  “But I saw you.  And, this is weird, but I... feel like I’ve known you forever.”

“Have we ever met?  Outside of here?”  Sirius could feel something building in him.  Excitement?  Fear?  He didn’t know.

Romulus laughed, almost wryly.  “I would never forget having met you, Sirius.  Not with those eyes.”  He touched the side of Sirius’ face.  “And well, the _rest_ of you.”  Orion was very pleased.  If he had access to the roof - and didn’t want to stay in this tiny, grungy room with Romulus - he would be yelling off the side of the building.

“You said you wanted to keep me.”  It sounded more hopeful than Sirius had intended.  He felt like an idiot the moment he’d said it.

“You speak Latin?”  He could tell he’d impressed Romulus.  Although he covered his eyes as if embarrassed.  Orion could feel the heat coming from his bed partner’s face.  “ _Gahhhh_.”

“French.”

Romulus just looked at him.  “You  _are_ Sirius, aren’t you?”

“I will only answer that if you tell me your real name.”

“I think you already did,” Romulus sat up and pulled Sirius’ hand into his own, playing with the fingers, the nails, the palm.  Sirius followed immediately after his hand, sitting in Romulus’ lap.  “Such clever disguises,” He laughed.  “A star.  And a wolf.”

“Romulus?”  Sirius asked, and Romulus laughed against his palm.  “Remus?  Your name is Remus?”

And then they were kissing again - this time Sirius had taken his mouth and caressed and gave to it.  Remus took it, all of it, and added to it.  His tongue, his breath.  Sirius could feel Remus was hard beneath him.  He was insatiable.  “How are you?”  Remus asked against Sirius’ mouth.  “I’ve been so rough.”

As if in answer - in fact, in answer - Sirius used his right hand to wet himself, bringing two fingers that Remus couldn’t see from his angle, into himself.  He was slightly tender but wanted Remus again.  His green eyes had gone black and Sirius raised and then lowered himself onto Remus’ cock.  It was so much deeper from this angle and Sirius let himself adjust before using his knees and thigh muscles to pull up and then push down.  The lip of his anus rippling against it’s anchor.  Remus’ hand were at his hips, almost exactly on the finger marks he’d made earlier.  He lifted his hips to meet Sirius who was making small _uhs_ as he moved.  Remus leaned forward and took his left nipple in his mouth.  He bit - he liked to bite - but only lightly.  And always washed the mark with his tongue.  Sirius used Remus’ hair to steady himself, Remus not complaining about the tug and pull as Sirius rocked up and down.

And then Remus had his cock in his hand, palming him with the semen and lube from their two bodies.   _Remus_ , Sirius sighed, inching up and then down.

“Say it again,” Remus said, his mouth against Sirius’ neck, where a ring of love bites would darken in the next day or so.  “Say my name.”

 _Remus_ , Sirius was breathy now, panting as he rode Remus.  It was Remus mouthing his own name - Sirius - into his neck that eventually brought him to a smaller, more subdued orgasm.  He wasn’t even sure if he was coming anymore.  Just pulsing.  Remus did come again, Sirius could feel it - but only just - and then pulled Sirius very close, closing his warm arms around him.  “I don’t know if I can do this again,” Sirius said when he was able to talk.  Which was quite a while later.  

“I thought you could go five or six times?”  Sirius had his bottom lip in his teeth when he peeled away from Remus this time.  

“I did go five times,” Sirius reminded him.  

“Clearly not enough if you still remember your first.”  Remus laughed as he helped Sirius down to the mattress again.  “I would recommend you soak.  But from the sounds of it, we would never make it to the basement alive.”

Sirius, on his side, looked at the wall.  “We could use mine.”

“Oh, your pocket sauna?”  Remus tousled Sirius’ hair.  He wasn’t sure if he was joking because he didn’t want to go or because he was just joking.  Or he could be referring to his ass, which in some states might be considered a sauna at this point.  

“I meant--”

Remus touched Sirius’ lips with his thumb.  Which smelled very much like Sirius.  “I know what you meant.  And I’m not opposed,” Hope bloomed in Sirius’ heart - and in his eyes, he couldn't hide much.  “But Sirius.  I’m not sure what this is, or could be, but I’m not out.  At all.  Maybe someday.  But I can’t now.  My job.  My family…”

“You’re not married, are you?”

“Thank goodness, no.  I meant my parents.  My sister.  I’m fairly certain my grandmother would have a coronary.”

“Mine, too,” Sirius smiled.  “But it’s not likely I’m going to have sex on the Thanksgiving table.”  Remus swatted him, lightly, and then leaned over to kiss him.  Sirius reciprocated immediately.

“I was engaged.  Until fairly recently.  But I couldn’t do it.  It didn’t seem fair for someone else to have to carry the burden of my not being present.  Not getting _me_.”

“I understand.  Sort of.”  Sirius turned to look at Remus.  To look at his eyes.  “I was never engaged, but before I came here - before I moved to San Fran - it was horrible.  My parents disowned me, actually.  And I haven’t talked to my brother in over two years.”  Sirius didn’t want Remus feeling sorry for him and was pleased when he didn’t reach for him in consolation.  “Here I am me.  Actual me who is a person who just likes guys.”  He looked at Remus.  “But I _know_ that there aren’t many places like that.  I know what it’s like.  Come back to mine?”

“Won’t your roommate mind?”

“Pevensie?”

“That was your roommate?”

“Yeah.  He’ll probably knock the wall down if we make too much noise, but he doesn’t mind.  We have people over all the time.”

Sirius found that he was able to go once more.  In the very small hours of the morning after spending an hour or so in the tub with Remus drinking Chianti while sitting on the toilet.  Thank goodness they’d replaced the seat.  They hadn’t much left in them, more of a token fuck than anything else.  But he fell asleep with Remus.  And he was still there when he woke up the next day.

 

*

 

It was when Remus trusted him enough to fuck him, after Sirius had broken in his lover and committed to memory the sexy ass words Remus had babbled just for him, that Remus asked him to marry him.  “We can’t really get married.  I know.  But I got you this ring.”

“You… bought me a ring?”  They had been living in a piece of shit Victorian in Haight for six months.  The hippies before them had done a number on the place and there was only one working faucet.  Pevensie - James - had the entire third floor but only under the condition that he actually help them fix it up.  So far, he’d just been setting up mouse traps and eating their food.  

“Well…” Remus was embarrassed now.  Sirius could tell as the tops of his ears started to get pink.  “I know it’s sort of--”

“Yes.  Of course I’ll marry you.  It’s real, right?  If you believe it, anyway.”

“I do.”

“This would have been more romantic if my spunk wasn’t getting all over the bedcovers, Remus.”

“Listen.  I’m very diligent about cleaning up my messes, _Sirius_.  Thankfully this is _your_ side.”

“Yes, yes.  Well where is it?  Where is this ring of which you speak?”

Remus, who really had a very fine ass, went over to the closet and after some rustling around pulled out a box.  When Sirius opened it, it was a simple gold band.  Not terribly impressive.  “There’s something on the inside.”

Twisting it so it caught the light, Sirius read: _Until the very end._

 

*

 

**1987**

 

_“He swore by Himself, saying, “Surely blessing I will bless you, and multiplying I will multiply you.”  And so, after he had patiently endured, he obtained the promise.”_

The last time he saw Sirius was at St John’s in the Fields on the morning of August 2, 1987.

The man in black - hollow-cheeked and using a cane now - sat alone in the front row.  There weren’t many left of them now.  Certainly not enough to fill a church pew.  Pevensie had gone in ‘83, Longbottom the same year.  There had been others: the Prewetts, Frank Bryce, Fenwick, and Bones.  Even McKinnon, which had been something of a shock.

Now there was only Remus.

For that reason, Remus had asked to hold the service directly at the grave site.  He was too weak now to be a pallbearer and Tonks and Alice had offered to fill in.  A godsend the two of them.  And the friends he’d made, the resources he had through his community.  When he’d been in better shape, Remus had been on his hands and knees cleaning up the vomit, the shit.  He’d learned to administer morphine through IVs and coax food into the unhungry.  They’d bathed James and Gideon.  Through it all, Siri had reminded Remus: _The ones we love never really leave us_.

And he’d bathed Siri.  

The last had been the hardest.  In the end he had cried out for James, for his brother who wouldn’t speak to him, and for a mother who Remus had never met.  He read him Ovid and Homer in the original Latin.  He fed him ensure and was extremely diligent about turning him to avoid bed sores.  

He reminded him that: _Sirius rises late in the dark, liquid sky / On summer nights, star of stars,/ Orion's Dog they call it, brightest._  All the while, he knew there was a date stamp on his own life.  But Remus had come to terms with his own mortality.  What was the point of going on when all the ones around you had already left?  Or as Phil Lesh had once penned: _Such a long long time to be gone and a short time to be there_.

There were others waiting for him now.  He heard them sometimes in the voices of children outside and when he had trouble sleeping.

 _“This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and stedfast, and which enters the Presence behind the veil_.”

At one point Siri had been lucid, although his beautiful eyes were clouded with morphine and huge in his face.  “Remus, why do you want to see me like this?”  It had been horrible when Siri asked these things.  Where else would Remus be?

Everytime he would respond, “I promised you, Siri.  Until the very end.”

**Author's Note:**

> So many sources quoted:
> 
> Homer's the Illiad (approach of Achilles to Troy)  
> "Fall of Rain" The Grateful Dead  
> Hebrews 6:19


End file.
